


School Yard Fights

by orphan_account



Category: The Worst Witch - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Fist Fight, Funny, Hicsqueak, and i think it's safe to say, we love our defensive lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 09:56:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20080300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: No one other than Miss Pentangle, Mildred and Miss Hardbroom herself really knew how it happened. But somehow HB was throwing hands with The Great Wizard. And it was epic.





	School Yard Fights

**Author's Note:**

> from the hicsqueak fest prompt "fist fight"  
If you feel like it, you should check out my tumblr too  
https://well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir.tumblr.com/

If Mildred had to pinpoint the moment it all started, she would have to say it was when Miss Bat bustled into the dining hall during lunch.

“Ada! Ada! Oh, Ada. The Grand Wizard is here. Again.”

While the chaos ensued, a visiting Miss Pentangle lent over to Miss Hardbroom. “Does this happen often?”

“Only when his Greatness runs out of other ways to make him look busy.”

She gave Hecate a smile. “Ah, of course.”

That is how the slow, boring sunday afternoon started to become, like, the best day of Mildred's life. Because guess who ran into HB and Miss P (while the former was chastising one Mildred Hubble)? If you bothered to think of an answer to that ritorial question, and that answer was the Great ol’ wizard himself, you’d be correct. And that went about as well as one would expect from a conversation between a toaster and a tub of water. 

“Mildred Hubble!” The poor girl froze. To be honest, she should be used to it by now. “How many times must I tell you to tie your shoes?”

“Sorry, Miss Hardbroom.” Mildred bent down to attempt tying a neat bow.

“Don’t be sorry, be bett-”

“Hecate! There you are." The Great Wizard called from behind HB.

To Mildred’s absolute delight, before HB tuned she mouthed, “_ Hecate! There you are.” _ with a barely visible roll of her eyes.

“Well met your Greatness." Both Hecate and Pippa greeted.

“And Miss Pentangle. Lovely as ever to see you. Though I admit I am surprised to see you in a facility so far below the standards of your own_ . _Voluntarily.”

Pippa Pentangle couldn’t even manage more than a hum in response. Not that the wizard cared.

“And Mildred Hubble. Still causing constant disasters, I suspect.” The man waved his hand in dismissal. “Of course no one could hope for any better. You are somewhere you don’t belong.” My mate over here, said in the most bloody casual voice possible.

Mildred shrink behind her teacher, and it most definitely didn't go unnoticed.

“Your Greatness,” HB said after a second, in a much friendlier voice than anyone knew she was capable of. “What type of school is this?” 

Pippa grabbed Hecate’s hand and gently pulled it. Instead of stopping, as was the desired effect, Hecate, internally screaming in frustration, squeezed back quite firmly. 

“An academy for young witches?" He chuckled.

“Mm.” Hecate nodded. “Mildred?”

“Yes, Miss Hardbroom?” She peaked around the teacher. 

“Can you tell me what a witch is defined as?”

“Um, a female with magic?”

“And do tell me, Mildred. Are you a female with magic?” 

“Yep.”

Miss Hardbroom cocked her head. “So now, after she has proved capable of adequately performing magic, why on earth does she still not belong in this school?”

“Dear lady, all I mean to say is that it is not your fault she is in such bad shape. You women are much too sensitive.”

“Yes, our heightened emotional sensitivity makes any unachieved undertakings forgivable. Obviously failure is expected.” Miss Pentangle narrowed her eyes as she spoke with a calm voice.

“Precisely. I knew you had some smarts, Pippa.”

Mildred could see Miss Pentangle’s lips thin and Miss Hardbroom’s fingers -the ones that weren’t in Miss Pentangle’s hand- twitch at her side.

His Greatness decided to continue. “That is precisely what I was getting at. The teachers at this school won't take a strong stance with this young lady. But it’s not really anyone's fault, it’s just feminine nature.”

“Miss Hardbroom is the toughest teacher ever.” Mildred said with a scrunched face. 

“That may be, little girl. But you go to an all girls school, so you hardly have any real men to compare her to. The staff at my school were hard as nails, I'll tell you!-”

“I’ve had dude teachers too.” Mildred huffed. 

“And they do have Mr Rowen-webb." Miss Pentangle pointed out.

He waved it off. “That pufferfish doesn't count, I said real men. Hecate likely _ is _the toughest here. She is odd enough to be. Especially with that rumored unnatural attr-” 

“Child!” Miss Pentangle shouted, pointing to Mildred. “There is a child.”

Okay, Mildred wasn’t going to lie; what the fuck, man. Mildred’s brain wasn’t even able to properly unpack that before they added another suitcase. HB stepped towards the old man in a way that would terrify anyone else. She pulled her hand free and towered over him. “You can say such things to me as you please. However; _ never _ bring any of my students into any of you idiotic ideologies.”

“‘Idiotic’?" He roared. “Ha! Do you require proof? A woman, such as yourself, could never beat me in a fight. Making this ‘threat’ of your’s meaningless.” 

“Miss Hardbroom totally could!” Mildred blurted out.

At that Mildred received a wink from Miss Pentangle.

He laughed. “Even if she believed it, she wouldn’t do anything about it. Women are all talk, no fight.”

And that is exactly how Pippa and Mildred managed to get Hecate signed up for a duel with The Great Wizard. Like she had time for this.

~ ~ ~

“Now, now, your greatness,” Miss cackle said after everything had been relocated to the academy’s field. “Don't you think it would be a good idea to have a good old fashioned fight? Without magic?”

“Why on earth would we do that?" He began to shed his formal robe, leaving the slightly less frivolousness traditional wizard clothing below.

“We do need our potions mistress alive and well,” Ada caught sight of the increasingly frustrated deputy and could feel the magic pouring off of her. “And wouldn't want you to hurt her too bad.”

“Right, right. Of course we wouldn't want that.” 

Dimity Drill could have squealed. “An ordinary fist fight, between HB and The Great Wizard!?!”

“It seems your not very popular among your colleagues." The Great Wizard called over to Hecate.

“Oh ya." Dimity gave him a _ very _ convincing nod. “We all absolutely- HB, what’s a really good word?”

“Despise.” 

“Right, thanks." Dimity turned back to the wizard. “We despise her.”

“Okay!” Miss Cackle called with a clap. “Rules! Rules." Her face fell. “Dear me, I don't actually know how this is meant to work.”

“I do!" Mildred’s hand shot up. 

The only students who actually knew this was happening, (and consequently spectating) were in fact Mildred and Felicity. Though, no one knew how Felicity found out. But she was there, and she was using her maglet to record it. Most of the other students chose to stay away from the crowd of teachers for obvious reasons. 

Everyone looked at Mildred.

“What? My old school had fights.”

“Okay, Mildred.” Miss Pentangle gave HB's arm a quick squeeze and stepped a bit away. “Have at it.”

Mildred beamed and walked herself over the where Miss Cackle was. “First thing, do you want to do a tap out system, or knockout, or what?”

The Great Wizard looked to consider this.“I think we should give Hecate the chance to ‘tap out’, as you say.”

“Tap out, Miss Hubble.” HB said, ignoring the wizard.

Mildred nodded and started to tick things off on her fingers. “Okay, so; no choke holds. No groin hits. No weapons. No hitting eyes. Don't kick while the other person is down. And obviously, no magic. That’s pretty much it. Oh, and no audience, intervention. Unless any of those rules are broken.”

“Of course child, lets get on with this." The Great Wizard sorta tried rolling up his sleeves only to have them fall right back down again. He frowned at them.

“One moment." Now that Hecate knew she would be fighting the non-magical way, a change of wardrobe was in order. 

With a twist of her hand, HB’s usual outfit changed into some high waisted slacks with top that happened to be the only top she owned that wasn't dense as bloody hell and didn’t hang loose at her wrists. Both black of course.

The ‘only real man there’ frowned deeper when he realized he could not do the same and change into something less… wizard like. Never mind, he was just fine as is. 

Felicity leaned over to a returning Mildred. “I know HB is scary and all, but she's fighting THe GrEaT WiZaRd, without. Magic.”

“Yep." Mildred said without the tiniest bit of doubt. “And now that HB isn’t wearing shoes," She pointed to Miss Hardbroom’s now bare feet, “he’s a good ten centimeters taller than her.”

“Exactly.” Felicity said with a bit of worry in her voice. “You really thinks she’s going to win?”

Miss Pentangle put a hand on each of their shoulders, making them both startle slightly, and knelt down behind them. “You want to know something interesting about your potions teacher?" They nodded. “Included in her incredibly peculiar list of hobbies is practicing martial arts.”

Felicity furrowed her brows. “Why would she do that if when she’s so good with magic?”

Miss Pentangle just raised her eyebrows challengingly and stood back up. Good timing too, the fight was about to begin. 

Mildred jumped up with wide eyes. “Miss Cackle-!”

While the children had been chatting, HB and his greatness were being given a prep-talk by Miss Drill. It was ignored by both parties.

“-the key is confidence.” Drill summarized. “Do your best.” She then added a tease for good measure. “And, HB? Don’t die.” Dimity was rewarded with an eye roll in response.

Ada came walking over. “Miss Hubble just informed me it might be a good idea to make some sort of arena for you two." With her palms to the ground Ada summoned up the forces to vanish a circle of the field. Now they had an area lowered three feet into the ground to fight. 

Now in the pit, Hecate took the opportunity to walk up to The Great Wizard. She moved to stand with her chest to his shoulder. She barely breathed into his ear to speak, “I hope I don't hurt you too badly.” Being her over dramatic self, Hecate also added a smirk for good measure. 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a blur of pink hop into the arena. 

“Pippa?" The lady in question hurried over and grabbed both her hands. 

Hecate raised an eyebrow and successfully willed a blush away at the overly tactile side of her friend she was dealing with today. 

“Don’t do anything…” Pippa removed one of her hands briefly to gesture harshly. “Drastic.”

“Do I ever? Actually, don't answer that.”

“Pinky promise?”

Hecate huffed but her lips ever so slightly quirked up.

“Fine.” She did promise. And sighed, mildly annoyed she couldn’t get this over with as fast as she had wanted.

“Oi! Pentangle, outta the ring!" Dimity called, decidedly not dropping in some remarks about how adorable and obviously in love they were. Because ‘that was against the betting pool’s rules’, Ada had to go and ruin the fun.

When the blond woman climbed out of the arena, dimity gave Mildred a thumbs up.

“Ready?” Mildred called. With confirmation from both, she continued. “Three.”

The wizard raised his hands and fully faced Hecate.

“Two.”

HB rolled her shoulders.

“One. Go!”

Annnnnddd… nothing happened. HB was simply standing while the wizard was hopping around in a very unhelpful way. He's a full grown man and he danced around her like a toddler in ballet class for a solid 10 seconds. All while Miss Hardbroom stood still. No stance. Nothing but a frown of irritation, the same one that the students were all very familiar with. 

But you see, if Mildred had to pick a moment The Wizard Of Unfathomable Power done did fuck up. This was it. The moment when he lunged forward, and looked like a bull while doing it. 

His hands pushed out in some incomprehensible attempt to push HB over. Ducking out of the way, Hecate watched him stumble past her.

“Do try to give less warning next time.”

She turned and gave dimity ‘what the fuck type of challenge is this’ shrug. Thought, he seemed to have taken her advice. Besides the slightly labored breathing, he had indeed snuck up on her. But, you know, the breathing. Pivoting, the wizards fist was caught. Her free hand slammed into his jaw.

His Greatness tried to save himself from falling. He managed. When he looked up from his slightly doubled over position his face was red. Hecate raised an eyebrow in challenge. 

“You really are no woman.” He spat. “Normally I wouldn’t hit a girl." He went to slap her.

“Funny," Hecate said as she turned her head away from the hand, dodging. “I’d say the same thing.”

“It’s quite impossible to mistake me for a woman." The wizard scoffed.

“You are wearing a dress.”

“It’s a robe!”

“Stop your chit-chatting and get on with actual fighting!" Dimity called through cupped hands.

“As you wish.” Hecate shouted over her shoulder.

She lunged forward, capturing his hands. Hecate pulled them behind his back and brought him to his knees with a quick kick to the back of the legs. 

The man made a disgruntled growl of a noise. Before Hecate could do anything else he stood up fast, trembling with rage. He successfully shoved her back, only slightly, but it was enough. Regaining his balance, he moved to stand face to face with Hecate. A shimmer of a glint passed over his eyes.

The wizard brought his arms over her head then down with far more force than anything before. Hecate’s eyes widened when she blocked. 

“Are you using magic?” She hissed. Her arms were shaking as they held his arms off.

“Would I need to? You are far weaker than I.” His foot came up from the grass and sent a knee into Hecate’s stomach. Hard.

The shooting pain caused her to gag.

“Miss Hardbroom!”, “Hecate!”, “Ouch.”, “Oof.”, and “hgigfdh *choking on drink*" Were all reactions held by the spectators. The later was distinctly made by dimity.

Damn Pippa and her pinky promises. Really, Hecate would have made the man regret the thought of cheating ever crossed his mind. She clutched her aching stomach, ignoring the pain as she straightened out. 

Okay, nothing drastic. 

She could do that.

Hecate sucker-punched him in the face.

The Great Wizard cupped a face squished in pain. It seemed whatever magic aid he was using, was not going to make it hurt less if she landed a blow. Her face reflected this pleasing discovery.

He groaned after the shock wore off. The wizard moved and pulled his hands away from his face. Quickly, he grabbed roughly at her hair, managing to pull it mostly free of its normal bun. 

“I hadn't expected The Grand Wizard to be a dirty fighter." Ada said just loud enough for everyone to hear.

The wizard didn’t care. Once her hair was free, and ridiculously more wild than a state she would ever let someone see it in, he gripped at the base of her hair. But Hecate just punched him square in the stomach and the wizard let go as he clutched at his abdomen and stumbled back. 

“One of the benefits to having thick hair is it happens to quite impervious hurting when pulled.”

Dimity opened her mouth but was quickly shut up by her own better judgment and a glare from the tiny bit preoccupied potions mistress. However; being preoccupied didn't stop her from seeing the few more students who had gathered to watch.

The man seemed to be getting better at taking a hit. He recovered in decent time. Apparently he had also decided to repeat his first move. Charging like a bull. Heacte decided to stand her ground but was caught off guard when he grabbed her upper arm. Pulling her instead of pushing. Not really caring to have a repeat gut hit, she rapid-fire punched his chest to distract. This time, when he brought his leg up to knee her she pulled it and pushed him off balance.

With the wind knocked out of him, his attempt to rise was a literal flop. Having the first intelligent thought of the day, he struck the back of Hecate’s legs, causing her to wipe-out. Her face scrunched in response to the aching of her back. The wizard had given himself the time to get up.

“Hecate! Get up quick!" Pippa called while clinging to Dimity in a distraught manner.

“Pip, please shut up.” Hecate groaned out just loud enough.

Pippa cringed. “Sorry.”

She wasn't wrong though. The wizard was standing at her side and she still hasn't recovered enough to stand. 

But like hell she was going to tap out.

He wound up his arm and at last second she rolled to the side. And Hecate was so fucking pleased with the universe. She heard the bone of his fist crack on the rock in the dirt of this make-shift arena. The wizard screamed like a banshee.

Hecate swoop into a standing position. Grabbing a fist full of his collar, she pulled his face centimeters from her own. “That is only what you deserve." She spat. Then tilted her head closer. “Now, will you be leaving my students alone?”

He grinded his teeth.

She scowled in the most displeasing manner. Hecate used all her strength to practically throw the man to the ground. He was lucky to not land on that broken hand. “You may want to do yourself a favor and answer.”

“Fine,” He cough out. “Yes.” The Wizard sat up. “But I do not surrender that easily.”

“Then stand up!” Hecate shouted. 

He did with a jump. She gestured for him to make the first move. A fist came at her face. Hecate could have been breathing fire as she pulled him forward and used his shoulder to push him down. The sad excuse for a man seemed to forget the fact that he has a broken hand because that is exactly how he tried to brace for the fall. Of course, as any human would, he screamed. The shooting pain was no help as the wizard tried to fight Hecate off. He was still screaming as she pinned him to the ground, leaning on his back to keep him down. 

“Get off of me, woman! Get off!” He screamed.

“You have to tap out!” Mildred Hubble yelled to him. 

“Just hit the ground, your greatness.” Hecate smirked.

He did. Still screaming too. 

Ada, Dimity, and Pippa, all jumped down and hurried over. 

“Congrats, HB.” Dimity said before she went to look at The Great Wizard’s broken hand.

Ada grinned at her and turned to an audience much larger than they had started with. “The winner: Hecate Hardbroom!” 

The only one to find the cheers surprising was Hecate. Fortunately she was spared reacting by Pippa’s suffocating hug. Thankfully, their combined hair hid most of Hecate’s red face

“Sorry.” Pippa said as she let go. “I just got a tiny bit worried.” Hecate rolled her eyes fondly. “I'm glad you're alright. And also sorry for getting you into that in the first place.” Pippa gave a guilty smile.

“It’s perfectly fine, Pipsqueak. He was rather infuriating.”

Mildred jumped into the pit. “You did it! You did it! Way to go Miss Hardbroom!” Mildred bounced around the two teachers, that is until her eyes landed on The Great Wizard and she cringed slightly. “Is he going to be alright?” 

Hecate followed Mildreds eyes to the man. There was no more smug looks. No more ridiculous hopping about. No more glint of power. But there was a frown lines on his forehead. The poor old man seemed to have finally learned power is not just about what your given, but how you use it. Unfortunately it was a bit too late. She watched him clench his jaw as dimity put the bandage around his hand. And she thought, maybe, he might become better.

“I think he’ll be just fine, Mildred.” Hecate said.

At that moment Felicity sent out the video. With Mildred featured in the article, happy to sum up the wizards instigations as; “Oh, women are sooo weak. Like, try to fight me.” Though Felicity decidedly left out the ‘bitch’ in ‘fight me bitch.’. Wise decision on her part. Because that’s how all of cackles academy, who didn't witness it live, learnt of how The Great Wizard got pinned to the ground while hysterical screaming by none other than Hecate Hardbroom.

Mildred finished tying up her shoes and jumped up. “We should make this an annual thing!”

Hecate groaned loudly. “No.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed  
Please tell me what you think


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